Words of Advice
by Cumberbatch Critter
Summary: Words of advice- never get drunk on the Yellow Brick Route. Slight CainxDG and one sided GlitchxCain.


Words of Advice

"Mmph..." Wyatt Cain muttered wordlessly as he raised a hand to rub at his forehead. His head hurt, it felt like it was too bright outside, and the damn birds would not shut up and give him a moment's rest. He wanted nothing more than to fall back asleep, but a strange feeling in his stomach was telling him that he was going to get up.

Groaning, he opened his eyes. He felt almost as if he'd just gotten attacked by a Ranger Scout- like that time so long ago when he'd gotten bitten. Only this was so much worse. No, no, wait. It didn't feel like he'd gotten attacked. It felt as if he'd just gotten run over with a truck. A stupid, large-

"Cain?"

He flinched at the voice, blinking hard as he positioned his hat a little further down over his eyes. "Mm?"

"We aren't going anywhere today, are we...?" It was DG's voice; he'd finally realized. And her voice was sleepy, almost slurred, and that caused him to look back at her even though it magnified the pain in his head.

Deeg didn't look so hot, either. Considering the last thing he remembered last night was Glitch popping open some whiskey, and while he'd been wondering vaguely where he had gotten it, he hadn't argued when it'd been passed to him. Now, Wyatt could hold his liquor fairly well, and he knew he hadn't had that much to drink... He didn't think so, at least.

"We got drunk last night, didn't we?"

"Yeah... Glitch and... me and you, and... Raw seems fine, but I don't really..." she trailed off, yawning.

Taking a deep breath, he let it out slowly. More complications. Well, it was his own fault. And Glitch's. Damn that headcase for giving them all alcohol. He sat up slowly, leaning back against their makeshift tent carefully. "Where's Glitch?"

DG gestured lazily towards the nearby bushes, looking faintly like she was going to pass out standing up.

"Just... go back to sleep. We're obviously not going to get anywhere like this," he instructed, standing. A wave of vertigo washed over him, pitching a sick feeling into the center of his stomach. Today was, simply, going to be a terrible day.

When he'd worked out the kinks in his back and the spinning in the world, he ambled his way over towards where DG had pointed out. To which he found Glitch leaning against a tree, looking a little pale, with the back of his hand pressed to mouth.

"Hey Zipperhead."

Glitch looked over to him. "Good morning!" he beamed, but the smile dissolved and he was back to vomiting in the next second.

Cain, ignoring the churning in his own stomach, frowned and looked towards the horizon. "You had to give us that stuff last night, didn't you?"

Glitch laughed weakly when he straightened up again, clutching at the tree tightly. "It was probably a bad idea. Look, we're all sick and hungover now." What Cain didn't understand was, when the headcase was nearly vomiting up his organs, how he could sound so optimistically bright. "We'll be fine soon, though, Cain, don't look at me with your frowny face."

Cain only grunted, turning away from Glitch and heading back towards camp. Had to keep watch... Raw might be with DG but he didn't put much faith in Raw.

He nearly backhanded the headcase when he realized he was not only following him, but talking quite loudly at his side.

"Last night was sure strange, wasn't it?"

"We were drunk, Glitch." He stopped. "Wait. Strange?" he questioned, looking at him.

"You don't remember?"

Failing to see how someone with half of a brain could remember more than he himself could, under the circumstances, almost made him not respond. But, curiosity, as it were, would always kill the cat. "No."

"Oh. Oh! Well. Nevermind then." Glitch was suddenly busy at his side, trying to scramble away from him, but only managing to trip over a tree root. Cain caught the back of his jacket before he could fall and whirled him around.

"What. Happened."

"Haha... Cain. You worry too much." Suddenly worried for reasons he did not understand, Cain shook Glitch a little at his comment. "Cain...!"

"Tell me, headcase!"

"You... you and DG went off and started... _bleh_... in the corner of the tent."

"... Kissing." His voice came out a little more strained than he would have hoped, and he sure hoped that what _bleh_ meant was only kissing. He really hoped it wasn't any more _bleh _than that. Although, it really wouldn't have been _bleh _if it was... No, Cain, do not think about that.

"Yeah... And I think you admitted to thinking I was a... uh, what did you say... sexy, stupid bastard?" Glitch scuffed his shoes against the ground at this, and Cain found that he wouldn't meet his eyes. Cain was astonished very much that he would have used sexy in such a context to describe Glitch at all.

"Did I really. Huh. Well, hate to burst your bubble, Sweetheart, but sexy, no, stupid, yes." He slapped Glitch on the shoulder and let go when the headcase stumbled. He might have been being a little rude, but... it was more than a little rude to give them all whiskey. Just a terrible idea.

And then, him and DG were _kissing_? How could have they been kissing? Why would, even in such an intoxicated state, he have kissed another woman? Especially DG? They'd been travelling together for some time now and he didn't really think...

Oh, damn it. Yes, he did. He thought about it a lot. But it was just something that wasn't going to happen. After what happened to Adora and Jeb, Cain didn't want to let his heart go out to another woman. It hurt too much to lose them after your heart was all in the open for everyone to see. And plus, DG was young enough to be his daughter... even if he had always said that age didn't matter in a relationship.

All this speculation was making his head and gut hurt even worse. His attention was too distracted, it became apparent as he tripped over his own two feet, and he then focused on the hangover aspect of this morning. He'd rather focus on the dizziness and the nausea and the pounding, throbbing headache rather than focus on how he and DG had... liplocked each other last night. And how he had called Glitch sexy...

Speaking of, the headcase still wouldn't meet his eyes. Strange, he was.

One thing for sure, Cain knew for a fact that he never wanted to get drunk on the Yellow Brick Route ever, _ever_ again.


End file.
